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You have done the Brené Brown work. Guilt is healthy, shame is toxic. Then NVC says guilt is a tragic expression of unmet needs. Here is what that actually means — and why both are right about different things.

You know the Brené Brown framework: guilt is healthy, shame is toxic. Then NVC says guilt is a tragic expression of unmet needs. Here is what that actually means — and why the two frameworks are not enemies, but sequential steps.

The four steps are scaffolding. The real NVC practice is what happens inside — before you speak, while someone is hurting, when you've gotten it wrong.

The four steps are scaffolding. The real NVC practice is what happens inside — before you speak, while someone is hurting, when you've gotten it wrong.

If you've encountered real NVC practice, the training-slide version feels off. This post is about what Rosenberg was actually pointing toward, why the four steps became a formula, and what gets left out when that happens.

The mainstream version of NVC strips out needs and genuine requests, leaving a sophisticated complaint. Here's what Rosenberg was actually pointing toward — and why the form was never meant to be the destination.

The four-step formula is everywhere. But it's not what Rosenberg was really teaching. Here's the NVC consciousness most trainings leave out.

The four-step NVC formula is everywhere — HR workshops, therapy handouts, self-help articles. But if you've encountered real NVC practice, something feels off. Here's what Rosenberg was actually pointing toward.

Removing the org chart doesn't remove the power dynamics. Here's what NVC's 'power-with' framework actually requires — and why flat isn't enough.

The org chart disappears. The power doesn't. Here's why flat organizations fail — and what Miki Kashtan's NVC-based framework actually requires for real structural change.

Dialogue programs help with polarization — a little, briefly. But something structural is missing. NVC offers a different diagnosis and a trainable process for dissolving the enemy images that fuel political conflict.

Dialogue programs have tried to fix polarization for years. The research says they help — a little, briefly. NVC offers a different diagnosis: a trainable process for dissolving the enemy images that make most political listening not actually happen.

The charge that NVC is a tool for the privileged deserves more than a defensive response. The critique is real — but it's hitting the wrong target.

There is a charge leveled at NVC that many practitioners have heard and few know what to do with: NVC is a tool for the privileged. That critique deserves an honest look — because the truth is more uncomfortable than either dismissing it or accepting it uncritically.

Most friendships don't end in a fight — they end in a hundred small withdrawals. Here's the NVC approach to staying connected when you disagree with someone you love.

Most close friendships don't end in a fight. They end in a hundred small withdrawals that nobody names. Here's the NVC approach to staying connected when you disagree with someone you love.

You said sorry and meant it. So why is the distance still there? Here's the real reason apologies don't repair — and what actually does.

You said sorry. You meant it. And the distance is still there. It's not because you apologized wrong — it's because the apology we learned was never designed to do what repair actually requires.

When your team seems disengaged, the problem usually isn't motivation — it's that their human needs are invisible. Here's the NVC leadership diagnostic that changes everything.

When your team seems disengaged, the problem isn't motivation — it's that their needs aren't visible. Here's the NVC leadership lens that changes everything.