About · What Is NVC

Most of us learned to speak. Few of us learned to connect.

Nonviolent Communication is a practice of speaking and listening that stays honest about what you feel and need, and stays open to the same in others, turning conflict into connection.

What it is, in one breath

NVC is a way of communicating that turns conflict and distance into clarity and connection. It works at home, at work, and anywhere people are trying to understand each other. Not by being nicer, by being more honest about what we feel and what we need.

How we use it

What it actually does

Underneath almost every conflict is an unmet need that hasn't been clearly heard. When our words carry blame, shame, or pressure, the other person stops listening, and the conflict grows. NVC gives us a different move: to notice what we observe, what we feel, what we need, and what we'd like to request, and to listen for the same in others.

It's used in families, schools, workplaces, government, restorative justice, and therapy. Above all, it's a compass for living in a way that matches your deepest values, moment by moment, alongside other people.

What we do with it

The practice

The four moves

01

Observe

Notice what happened, without judgement.

Not

Evaluating, diagnosing, or telling them what they did wrong.

02

Feel

Sense what it stirs in you.

Not

Disguising a thought or a blame as a feeling ("I feel ignored").

03

Name the need

Find the need underneath the feeling.

Not

Fixing on one strategy or person as the only way to meet it.

04

Make a request

Clear, doable, and open to a no.

Not

Making a demand, where "no" costs them something.

Judgements, evaluations, and the like are part of life, and they have their place too.

A photographic giraffe

Why a giraffe?

The language with the biggest heart.

NVC uses two animals as a gentle shorthand. The giraffe, the land animal with the biggest heart, stands for the language that connects: noticing, feeling, needing. The jackal stands for the language that separates: judging, blaming, analysing.

Most of us speak both. The practice is simply learning to hear which one we're in.

Where it comes from

NVC was developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, an American psychologist, in the 1960s–70s. He was a student of Carl Rogers and was deeply shaped by Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and the nonviolent traditions within the world's great spiritual paths. The practice is stewarded globally by the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC).

Our living version

We don't teach the textbook version. We teach the living one, current, evolving practice inspired by present day teachers, held inside a real community rather than a lecture hall.

We build learning communities, and we use NVC to create them, because we believe that the belonging, meaning, visibility, safety, and freedom to be yourself that a healthy community makes possible can truly turn our world into one with fewer wars and more freedom and safety for everyone.

Don't just read it, practice it.

The fastest way to learn the language of the heart is to speak it with others.